Charpermousing, what a blast

The Pride goes to Disney

Well just in case you have been living in a cave for the past couple of months, we just returned from a trip to Disney World with 165 hormonally challenged teenagers. And yes there is a lot to cover, so for those of you that expect to see a video or a cartoon I am sorry but, you are going to have to read and practice your paragraph comprehension skills for a change. I will try my best to break it down day by day however, there are certain things that I have managed to erase from my memory so that I will be able to sleep at night. And there are certain parts of the trip that I will make up just to provide some funny ha ha’s to keep everything entertaining.
Day 1, we load the busses.

The day had finally arrived! We all met the band hall with suit cases, bags, carry ons, blankets, pillows, snacks, teddy bears, drinks, movies, medical aid bags, uniforms, hats, gloves, shoes, cell phones, cell phone chargers, laptops, trumpets, tubas, flutes, clarinets, saxes, inhalers, insulin, epipens and loaded the three big busses for our big trip. The atmosphere was awesome, the kids were giddy the band directors were excited; the chapermouses were checking and rechecking everything that need to checked and rechecked. The parents were huddle in masses around the busses and by the looks of things you would think that we were taking their babies to Afghanistan and that they would never see them again.

Reese and I were on bus one. The all boy bus, the smelly bus, the messy bus. We really didn’t mind because we were heading back to our all time favorite place, the magic kingdom. Our bus driver came on board and gave a very stirring speech about safety and the trip. He informed us that he was just one of the several highly trained and one of the most professional bus drivers that we would encounter on our trip.

“Howdy, ya’ll, my name is Hank and I have been driving busses my whole life. Driving is my life. Now there are some things you need to know about this here motor coach.”

1. This’n here DVD player up’n here is fer DVD’s and ain’t no toy, only I or the this’n here band director will be manipulating this machine.

2. That’n there in the back is the commode. You fellers need to be careful when using the commode, so’s that you don’t be falling down in there and hurting yourself.


3. Don’t be use’n the commode when we stop, use the commode in the rest area, we only have so much chemicals and if’n you fill up the commode there in the back it could make for a very long trip.

4. Now ya’ll need to watch this’n here very important safety video, sos’n you will know all about the safety requirements for the this’n here motor coach.

And with that he put in the DVD and we were mesmerized be all of the wonderful safety facts about the bus (motor coach) and we were happy for it.

We made our way from Copperas Cove and went all the way down to Beaumont, it took us about four hours and then it was time to change bus drivers. Which was perfect, the kids were hunger, the bus driver had did his part and it was time to for him and the band to part ways. The excitement was still fresh in the air, nothing could break our mood, or so I thought. Enter Ms. Tim’s.

Hank gathered all of his things, wished us a good trip and like an old time cowboy movie he disappeared from our lives. Ms. Tim’s climbed aboard the bus, looking ever so stunning in her well pressed bus driver uniform, well placed weave, star glittered 4 inch nails and displaying an ever impressive blue tooth ear piece. She reached down, grabbed the microphone and began to speak. I was very impressed with here mastery of the English language.

“Goods eve’ns. My name is Ms. Tims, buts you can calls me Ms. Tims. I wills be driv’ns you’ins to Mari?-Mart?- Marv?, some where’s in Florida or Georgia, or something’s like that. Oh and for this legs of the trip we will be designated as bus number two.”

Oh thank God we were not going to be the lead bus. Hopefully the lead bus driver knew where his was going. I really didn’t care at this point I was just ready to get comfy and sleep till breakfast. So did my best to get a good comfortable position, but you know me and busses, so I did the best that I could. About two hours into leg number two I hear Ms. Tims on her blue tooth talking to Frank, the 77 year old bus driver of bus number one.

“Hello, Frank? We need to stop……..Whaaaa, huh? I can’t unersands you.”

“Frank……….huh? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?”

“Look you just can’t be driven forever, you gots to stop and let these childrens get off of the bus, they needs to stretch their legs.”


This type of exchange went on for about 15 minutes until we pulled over. No one got off of the bus due to the fact that everyone was sleeping. I looked out the window and discovered that the true reason for the stop was so that our bus driver could get her smoke on. Not just one cigarette, but several, chain smoking at its finest. So after about 30 minutes we headed back east on I-10. Found my comfy spot and started to dose off again.

Two hours later the same conversation could be heard from the front of the bus.

“Frank, Frank, Frank! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I says I need to go to the baf rooms. Huh? Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Looky here deese childrens need to use the bafrooms. You just can’t keep deese children on a bus for dat long.”

I looked to the back of bus and notice that all of the kids were fast asleep. So, did I miss something? We drove down the road for about another 10 minutes and then finally pulled over. And once again I watched as our bus driver demonstrated here skill with a lit cigarette in each hand as she attempted to absorb as much nicotine as possible.

After our much needed bathroom break we were once again Disney bound. I had finally given up on sleep and decided to keep my eye on Ms. Tims. Our next stop was for breakfast. We pulled off of the road, the busses split and headed to different restaurants so that things would go a little smoother for us, nothing scares a 17 year old fast food manager more than 165 high school teens heading into your restaurant at the same time. Ms. Tims was opening her 4th pack of smokes and was ready to enjoy her much deserved rest break.

We ate breakfast at “Whataburger”, and I sat in amazement as the boys ran around the restaurant searching for unused outlets so that they could charge their phones and laptops. I was a work of art. At one point we had to take charge of situation because they began to unplug things that should have been unplugged. After breakfast we stood around and waited for the rest of the group to board the bus. Reese and I tried to have a conversation with Ms. Tims but, I forgot my translator somewhere and really couldn’t keep up with her.

Day two, we change bus drivers

We were back on the road and heading east towards Orlando. After about 45 minutes we pulled off at Marianna, Florida and change bus drivers once again. Ms. Tim’s weave was now on the side of her head, her uniform was tattered and wrinkled, and she had chipped a few nails and was down to only three more cigarettes. She looked like she had been working on an oil rig. What should have taken us about 7 hours, took us about nine. Our new bus driver got on bus and gave us and smiles at us and said.

“Is everyone ready to go?”

David our new bus driver had a crisp new uniform, a tie that proudly displayed his various military tie pins. He opened his brief case and withdrew his tom tom and placed it professionally and quickly on the window. Adjusted his seat and pulled out his cell phone, made a quick call to his fellow bus drivers, closed the door and moved out.

We drove for the next seven hours with one stop for gas. No drama, no issues, no problems. Wow where had these guys been. They drove right up to the front of our hotel and were proud of their performance. At hotel we off loaded the busses of all 165 band kids, 11 chapermouses, 4 band directors, bags, suit cases, cell phones, cell phones chargers, laptops, teddy bear, blankets pillows, snacks and assorted toothbrushes and checked into the hotel.

We were on a serious time crunch, we had to off load the kids, get them to their rooms, and back on the bus in under 30 minutes. We had to be at the “Rain Forest Café” for dinner, and we had no time to spare. I am proud to tell you that everyone was back on the bus and ready to go, and we are on our way.

This is when we met our two representatives from the tour company, Kim and Jim. Kim was a self proclaimed expert on all things Disney, or so he thought, He would tell us things about the kingdom, that would cause Reese and I to look at each other and say,

“Oh really, and what comic book did you get that information from?”

Day three, four and five, the blur

Now I must confess from that point on everything is pretty much a blur, the schedule that they had us on sometimes reminded me of ranger school. The kids, the chapermouses, and the directors were going into sleep deprivation. All we did was eat, sleep, get on busses, get off of busses, perform, march, and then wander around the different parks on pure memory. We were moving on pure instinct. It was pretty amazing.

We had some issues with kids getting sick, calling paramedics to help them out. One child decided not to take her insulin, I guess she believe the whole “where wishes do come true” mantra that the kingdom was spreading. I will tell you this, if I ever see jiminy cricket any time soon, I think that I am going to step on that little bastard. After the “Wishes” fireworks show, I wished and wished with all my might for a corvette in the parking lot. When we go back to the busses I looked everywhere for my corvette, but I wasn’t there. How rude.

The band did very well, as usual they managed to win everything that they were competing in and left the Kingdom with several trophies. And as usual we received a lot of sneers at the awards ceremony. We ended out time at Disney at the “illuminations” show at EPCOT, and loaded the busses for our return home. It was sad, and three days in the park is more of a tease than anything else. The first part of the return was smooth. David had everything under control, we slept, he drove and then it happened, we changed bus drivers in Mississippi.

I looked out the window and saw her there in all her glory, Ms. Tims, ready to take us back to Texas. She had replaced the weave, the nails had been repaired, and the blue tooth was fully charged. I think that she restocked on her cigarettes and was ready to go. She got on the bus looked at Mr. Kelley and said,

“HEY! was a sheen flabby smack dog shappy kitten haaaaaaha, lord, lord lord.”

We all just looked at each other and decide to go back to sleep. We drove all the way to Beaumont, and decided it was time to stop for lunch. We didn’t make any “bafroom stops” for the entire leg. Wow, something must have been said to the Tims gang about our last journey with them.

We left Beaumont and were ready to start our last leg home. And then it happened, traffic jam. Apparently a fuel truck flipped and the highway patrol had close I-10 down to clean up the mess. Ms Tims sprung into action and decided to she would attempt to drive the bus across the dirt median the divided the Highway with the frontage road. We all held our breath as she turns the bus towards the embankment. At the last second she changed her mind, and turned back onto the highway. All of us on the bus gave a loud sigh of relief and then we all stared at each other in disbelief. Ms. Tims looked at Mr. Kelly and laughing out loud said,

“Hookah, shimmy dam flappy smack dog Carrie Underwood, get the busses stuck in dat stuff, oh my lord, lord lord.”

Ms. Tims took the next exit and decide we would take the Texas back road in order to get back to Copperas Cove. This is when we discovered that none of the bus drivers had brought a map, they had never driven in this part of Texas, and so they decided they would fight among themselves as to who would be in charge. At this point Mr. Kelley had had enough and informed that we were now bus one and that everyone would follow us. Between myself, Mr. Chapa, and Mr. Steward we made our way back to Copperas Cove. Ms Tims was very confused by all the different numbers on the street signs and highway markings, so we had to stay awake for the rest of the trip. When a highway exit would appear she would look back to us and say,

“Oh, lordie, cat knip dog track biscuits.”

And I would calmly say

“Yes turn here.”

We should have been back in Cove around eight that night, but with our wonderful crew of Jedi Drivers, we finally pulled in around one thirty or so. I know I made it sound worse than it actually was, but that is just my nature. All in all we had a blast and I would do it all again.